May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The air was thick with penises
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize