If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i came on her dog
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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