TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
