So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i'm inner monologue high
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
