where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize