Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
