I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
