its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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