12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
