Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
