Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
