Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
