i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
