PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
