dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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