I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
