this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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