i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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