So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
