omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
