I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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