I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize