The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
