Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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