You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
