Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded

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(727): View more from Florida

how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.

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(251): View more from Alabama

dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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(732): View more from New Jersey

look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates

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(928): View more from Arizona

Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.

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(303): View more from Colorado

like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad

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