Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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