Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
