At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
