Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
