Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
