Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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