I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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