can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
