I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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