went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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