Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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