I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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