Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He shit in the fireplace
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