drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize