turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
