My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
