I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
