he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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