Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
