i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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