I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
