just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
