am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize