shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
