those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
