i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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