you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
