i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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