we're chasing vodka with high fives
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
