I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
