I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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