You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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