Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
