worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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