And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
